The Lion King 3D

     This evening, my cousin and I took our kids to see Lion King 3D. The best part of the whole experience wasn't even the movie (which was great, BTW).

     The best part, was the teenage couple that was sitting next to me. It was an 8 o'clock show on a Friday night, but I didn't really think of Lion King as a date movie. But, apparently they did (or she did. She kept telling him, "You said my choice."). Anyway, when they come in and sit down this girl is all over the place. She's laughing and talking (think, valley girl) and just can't sit still. I'm thinking, if she doesn't calm down before the movie starts, we're going to have problems. My kids (who are almost 4 and 2.5) were looking at her like she was nuts as they sat still and quietly in their seats.

     Then the movie starts. We've all seen The Lion King, right? You know the opening scene where all of the animals are headed to Pride Rock for the presentation of Simba? Well, this is what I hear from the (approximately) 16 year old girl sitting next to me.

     "Aww, isn't the baby giraffe so cute!?!?!?! Oh! Look, there's an elephant! And a zebra! Look, peacocks! Oh, I love the antelope. Oh. My. God. Look. At those monkeys!"

     You get my point? I'm thinking "Yay! You've learned your animals!" But I don't say anything. Not yet anyway. Then they show baby Simba. By the "ohh"s and "aww"s coming from the girl next to me, you would have thought that they had just shown the world's cutest baby. This is when I just can't take it anymore. I absolutely can not take 2 hours of this. I expected that there would be kids talking and maybe crying. But I did not mentally prepare for this. I look at her, and as politely as I can, ask "Are you going to do that the entire movie?" She replies, "I'm stopping now. Sorry."

     Good. I can enjoy my movie in the relative silence that has entranced the children and teenagers that are soooooo excited to see this movie. Just when I'm really starting to enjoy it, Simba and Nala go to the elephant grave yard. Apparently the suspense in this Disney movie is too much for this teenager. She's on the edge of her seat, holding her breath. Then Mufasa  jumps in to save the day. "Yay, his daddy is going to save them!"

     At this point, I'm really wishing that I had gotten the seat on the other end of our party, next to the 5 year old that was sitting quietly in her seat.

     Then, Mufasa dies. Yes, it's sad. But did anyone over the age of 10 not know that it was coming? Why yes, the teenager next to me didn't know that it was coming. She is now in full on water works. Tears are streaming down her face and she is crying so hard, she's shaking in her seat. At this point, her boyfriend says to her, "Have you never seen this movie before?" She tells him, through heavy sobs, that she was about 6 the last time she saw it. He gets her calmed down while Simba cuddles with his father's body. Then Scar comes in and messes things up for my peaceful movie experience. Apparently, Scar's "you killed your father" bit was just so terrible that this girl is again, reduced to tears.

     Luckily, there are no more sad parts. For a while. Let me just list all of the other times that she started crying. It'll just be quicker that way.

• Simba, Timon and Pumba are looking at the stars and Simba says that the stars are "all the great kings of the past"
• Simba and Nala are reconnecting during Can You Feel the Love Tonight. "It's just so sweet." she says.
• Simba yells at the sky "you said that you'd always be there for me!"
• Rafiki and Siba are looking in the water and Mufasa's face appears in place of Simba's reflection.
• Simba decides to go back to Pride Rock.

She stops crying to laugh while Timon and Pumba do their hula.

• Simba tells the lionesses that he's responsible for Mufasa's death
• Simba has defeated Scar and is walking up Pride Rock to take his place as king.

     Now, that's a lot of crying. Either, her date really loved her or he was just to polite too leave her butt there. He was very uncomfortable with her displays of emotion. His friends (who were sitting in front of them because there weren't enough seats together when the arrived), kept turning around and laughing at her.

     Overall, the experience wasn't that bad because there became a point when I was just laughing at her. Changing seat wasn't an option because, by the time they sat down, there was no way that we were going to find 5 seats all together. If it was a movie that I had never seen before, I might have been angry. At first I was annoyed, then I was just amused. When the lights came up the the theater, her face was all red and her eyes were so puffy that she refused to remove her 3D glasses. Of course, this just gave the boyfriend's friends something else to make fun of her for. 

     But I will say this, I would rather sit by a teenage couple like them than by one that's cussing up a storm or making out.